


Essential

by fictionallemons



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Cinnamon rolls, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Julia Meade - mention, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, One Shot, Partial Government Shutdown, Post Mission Impossible: Fallout, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 10:20:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionallemons/pseuds/fictionallemons
Summary: This work is dedicated to everyone affected by the government shutdown that's going on in the U.S. Many hundreds of thousands of people are not working or being paid due to the shutdown, and many other people are affected indirectly. Not sure if this bit of fluffy smut might make anyone feel better for a minute, but there are lots of people rooting for the shutdown to end soon!





	Essential

Benji finished his five-mile run forty seconds faster than he’d run it the day before. Not because he was trying for a personal best, but because it was bloody freezing outside and he didn’t want to spend any more time with his nose exposed to the elements than he had to. He had another day of nothingness to look forward to, but at least he wasn’t getting flabby during this government shutdown. 

Apparently, he’d been classified as “nonessential” and he’d been on unpaid leave since before the holidays. The unpaid part didn’t bother him. He didn’t have much to spend his money on besides video games and takeaway, so he had a comfortable cushion saved up. He knew most federal employees couldn’t say the same, unfortunately. 

The lack of someplace to go and something to do hadn’t bothered him, either, at first. He’d caught up on some television, had a few nice long video chats with his family back home, in lieu of an actual holiday visit, which he hadn’t been up to. He found it exhausting to navigate his large family, all of whom believed he was a data analyst at an anonymous U.S. software company.

But after a few days, the lack of something serious to do had started to grate. He worked out. He checked his email obsessively, in case something was happening that he might get reassigned as “essential” for. But it seemed that even the bad guys were taking a holiday.

He’d finally started playing around with a program he’d started ages ago that would project holograms that looked lifelike, from certain angles. He thought it had potential in the field. It might work as well as masks in some situations. He could tinker with that, maybe go see a movie later if he got tired of staring at one screen and wanted to trade it for another, bigger one.

He jogged up the stairs to his Georgetown apartment, his mind on how to solve the problem of the hologram’s opacity, and stopped short inside the door. Ethan Hunt was sitting on his couch, reading Benji’s copy of the latest Jack Reacher thriller. His sister had sent it to him as a Christmas gift and Benji had read it in one day. They were formulaic, but Benji liked the formula. The good guy always won. Jack Reacher even reminded him of Ethan a little bit. Not physically, of course, but he was competent, brave, smart. Sexy.

Benji pushed that last one away, as he had over and over for the past decade.

“Whatcha doing, Ethan?”

“I let myself in,” Ethan said, smiling and standing up.

“I can see that. I won’t even ask you how.”

“Sorry,” Ethan said, as if remembering belatedly that breaking into apartments isn’t what one did as a matter of course. “I wasn’t sure how long you’d be gone.”

“You’re not at work?” Benji asked, the breaking in thing already forgotten. Ethan just did stuff like that and Benji was frighteningly used to it. Ethan had not been deemed “nonessential” and last Benji heard he was in Turkey.

“Day off,” Ethan said. “Thought we could do something.”

Benji felt his forehead crease.

“Unless you’re busy, of course,” Ethan tacked on easily, as if he didn’t care one way or the other.

Benji thought if Ethan had taken the trouble to break into his place, he cared, at least a little. He smiled.

“Of course, mate. Sounds good. Save me from banging my head against code all day.”

“Code?” 

“Yeah, just an idea I’m working on. I’ll tell you about it. But I need a shower first.”

Benji thought he saw Ethan’s eyes flick down over his black jogging pants and back up to his face, but it was so fast he might have been wrong. “Good jog?” Ethan asked.

“Freezing. But yeah.”

“You better warm up then, in the shower.”

“Right.” Benji felt his cheeks color slightly, and not from the run, and not from the cold. He’d been in plenty of more intimate situations with Ethan over the years, but there was something about them being alone, together, in Benji’s apartment, talking about showers, that had his pulse quickening.

He left Ethan, feeling a little strange about his friend being there among all his things. Ethan had been over a few times, but this felt different.

Benji tried to put his finger on why, as he started the shower and set the water to hot. He stripped off his running clothes, again feeling a spike of—something—being naked with Ethan just down the hall. Which was ridiculous. They’d shared close quarters before, tight changes. He’d seen Ethan’s body in all states of dress and undress, and vice versa. It was an occupational hazard. They were grownups about it.

But as Benji stood under the steaming spray, soaping himself head to foot, he couldn’t help feeling that this was different. Maybe it was the way that Ethan had seemed softer, somehow, since Kashmir. Maybe it was that Benji had felt his long-simmering attraction to one of his best friends only get stronger over the years, as they both got older, trusted each other more, looked out for each other—always. 

Finding out that Julia had not died had been a very happy moment for Benji. He’d always liked her, and he’d been devastated on Ethan’s behalf when he’d heard about her death. Knowing she was out there, thriving, had healed a bit of Benji’s heart that had been grieving for Ethan—for his friend for whom love had meant pain and sorrow. But now he knew that maybe love for Ethan meant something else—duty, protection. For Julia that had meant keeping her away from him. But Benji knew that Ethan’s tendency to keep Luther and Will, Jane, and even Benji himself, close, was his way of showing his love for them. He’d step in front of any danger to keep those he loved safe.

So yeah, Benji felt that Ethan loved him, in that sense. Like a friend. And if Benji’s idiotic body, which was this very minute in this very shower, getting an erection thinking about Ethan in the next room, wanted to believe that Ethan could ever have more-than-friendly feelings toward him, Benji couldn’t really help that.

He debated. He really shouldn’t wank with Ethan thirty feet away, but, on the other hand, if Ethan and he were going to spend the day together (that’s what Ethan had proposed-right?), then perhaps it was in his best interest to take the edge off, so to speak.

He slid his hand over his erection, willing himself to think about something besides Ethan’s eyes, or his smile, or the firm grasp of his hands when he settled them on Benji’s shoulder and squeezed. _Chris Hemsworth_ , Benji told himself fiercely. Blond hair, bulging biceps, flat stomach. Only the picture he tried to keep in his head as he stroked himself kept turning into a smaller, more compactly ripped man, with dark hair and a wicked smile. He groaned, in frustration and arousal, imagining Ethan stretching his beautiful lips around Benji’s cock. He’d look up at Benji with his green eyes hooded, his lips red. Benji sped up his rhythm, groaning again, needing to come, to put this embarrassing moment of lack of self-control behind him. He was seconds away from feeling the orgasm take over, when there was a knock at the door.

 _Shit._ Benji leapt and took his hand off his cock, irrationally. The door was locked. Not that that would keep Ethan out. And then Ethan’s voice, “You okay, Benj?” His groans must have been louder than Benji had thought. 

He fought to level his voice, “Fine! Almost done!” Which was an absurd thing to say because why should he have to justify his shower length to anyone? He wasn’t fifteen anymore and getting harangued by his mother for twenty minute showers. But the damage was done. His was still hard, but he couldn’t get back into the rhythm, so he shut off the water, ignoring the jut of his cock. He toweled off in resignation. He’d simply have to deal with blue balls for the remainder of the day. He’d endured worse.

But then another knock came. “Hey Benj—can I use your computer?”

“What? No!” What was going on?

“Just for a minute.”

“Don’t you have a phone?”

“Actually, not at the moment.”

“Well—just—hang on.” This was a ridiculous conversation to have with a closed door between them, Benji naked and half hard, Ethan doing god knows what.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, ran his finger through his hair to tame the locks, and opened the door. Ethan was standing there, closer than Benji expected. Steam from the shower escaped, warming the hallway air temporarily. Benji lost his train of thought for a moment, distracted by a lock of hair that had fallen over Ethan’s forehead. He wanted to push it back. He kept his hands firmly by his sides. “Um, what do you need my computer for?” he asked, his voice low.

Ethan swallowed. This time Benji couldn’t mistake the flick of his gaze from Benji’s face down to his—um—towel area—and back up. Ethan took a second to respond. “I, uh, wanted to check and see if the National Gallery is open during the shutdown. Thought we could go see the big blue chicken.”

“The big blue chicken?” Benji echoed. He was in some kind of parallel universe where Ethan checked him out and then started talking about chickens.

“Yeah, it’s some modern art piece. I like the Vermeers, personally.” Ethan licked his lips.

“I’m pretty sure it’s closed.” Benji felt that lip-lick as if Ethan’s tongue had reached out and touched Benji’s own mouth. He forced words out of his dry throat. “Due to the shutdown.”

“Oh. Bummer.” Ethan hadn’t moved. They stood six inches apart. “I guess we’ll have to think of something else to do today, then.”

Benji risked a glance down. There was a fairly prominent bulge in the front area of Ethan’s tight jeans. And the towel wasn’t doing much to hide his own state of arousal. He met Ethan’s gaze. “Damn shutdown. What do you think we should do, then?”

Ethan leaned in. He brushed his lips over Benji’s, and Benji almost hyperventilated as their respective, ah, bulges, brushed, too, unmistakable even through denim and terrycloth. Ethan rocked back. “Would something along those lines work for you?”

“Are you sure?” Benji asked. He probably should be acting first, asking questions later, but Ethan was too important to him.

“I’m sure. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Years.” Ethan voice was quiet, his eyes soft.

Benji felt like crying, but he laughed instead. “Then let’s not waste any more time.”

He leaned in. Their kiss moved from soft to messy quickly. Tongues became involved. Ethan tasted darkly sweet, like chocolate covered cherries. Benji’s beard scraped Ethan’s chin and Ethan let out a half moan, half growl that went straight to Benji’s straining cock. In an instant, Ethan had Benji backed up against the hallway wall, and they were rutting against each other like teenagers. Benji caught his breath as Ethan kissed his way from his carotid artery to his collarbone, and then latched that sweet mouth over his left nipple. Benji bucked up against Ethan, but the older, stronger man held him in place as his teeth and tongue teased first one nipple, then the other.

“Christ, Ethan, I need—” But Ethan knew what he needed. Ethan unbuckled his belt, his jeans, while Benji untucked his towel and let it drop to the ground. And then Ethan’s cock was free and he ground it against Benji’s, moist heat leftover from his shower adding to the friction, until they were groaning into each other’s mouths as they came, spilling against each other one after the other, like kids who only had ten minutes to mess around before their parents came home. When his head had cleared from the intense, explosive orgasm, Benji laughed into the crook of Ethan’s neck.

“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” he said. Ethan laughed, too. He looked disheveled, his pants around his knees, still wearing a jacket, his hair mussed, while Benji was naked, his skin smeared with their come. Benji indulged himself, reaching over to push Ethan’s hair back up over his forehead. It was soft and springy in his hand.

“I love your hair,” he said absently, because he couldn’t say something else.

“Yeah?” Ethan said, grinning, his eyes crinkling, but looking more boyish than ever.

“Yeah. And I’m all dirty again.” Benji sighed dramatically.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Ethan said. “I’ll help.”

As they stripped and Benji turned the water back on, Ethan said, “I love your beard. Did I ever tell you that? I really liked it when you started growing it out.”

Benji flushed. “No, I didn’t know that. But thanks.” 

They stepped into the shower together. Benji tried not to feel awkward about being naked, with Ethan, in his shower. There was no reason to feel awkward, except for the fact they’d gone from friends to something else in the span of about twenty minutes and now they were taking a shower together. 

Perhaps Ethan sensed his unease, because he wrapped his arms around Benji, grounding him, and they kissed again, this time long and slow. It felt like a promise to Benji, that this wasn’t something they were doing because they were bored and the National Gallery was closed.

Ethan spoke just loud enough to be heard over the noise of the shower, “I love your eyes, too.”

“Yeah?” Benji said,

“They always tell me so much,” Ethan said, still quietly.

“I love your teeth,” Benji said.

Ethan laughed and said, “What?”

“No, I do. They’re straight and crooked at the same time.”

“I don’t even know what that means.” Ethan kissed him again. “I love your faith in me.”

Benji swallowed. “You’ll always have it.” And because it was becoming a game, of sorts, he added, “I love your optimism. You always think everything is going to work out.”

“It usually does, when you’re on my side,” Ethan said. Then they didn’t say anything for a while, because they were too busy kissing, and Benji was wondering if they were going to have round two right there in the shower, or if they’d make it to the bed this time, when Ethan spoke again, right up against Benji’s ear. “I love you.”

Benji shivered. He found Ethan’s ear with his mouth and he whispered, “I love you.”

And they spent the rest of the day showing each other all of the ways that it was true.

**Author's Note:**

> On Tumblr as fictionallemons


End file.
